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perspicious:

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:
    
  1. Stay with us and keep calm.
    The last thing we need when we’re panicking, is to have someone else panicking with us.

  2. Offer medicine if we usually take it during an attack.
    You might have to ask whether or not we take medicine- heck, some might not; but please, ask. It really helps.

  3. Move us to a quiet place.
    We need time to think, to breathe. Being surrounded by people isn’t going to help.

  4. Don’t make assumptions about what we need. Ask.
    We’ll tell you what we need. Sometimes; you may have to ask- but never assume.

  5. Speak to us in short, simple sentences.

  6. Be predictable. Avoid surprises.

  7. Help slow our breathing by breathing us or by counting slowly to 10.
    As odd as it sounds, it works.
                                                                                                                 
WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T DO:

1. Say, “You have nothing to be panicked about.”
We know. We know. We know. And because we know we have nothing to be panicked about, we panic even more. When I realize that my anxiety is unfounded, I panic even more because then I feel like I’m not in touch with reality. It’s unsettling. Scary.

Most of the time, a panic attack is irrational. Sometimes they stem from circumstances — a certain couch triggers a bad memory or being on an airplane makes you claustrophobic or a break up causes you to flip your lid — but mostly, the reasons I’m panicking are complex, hard to articulate or simply, unknown. I could tell myself all day that I have no reason to be having a panic attack and I would still be panicking. Sometimes, because I’m a perfectionist, I become even more overwhelmed when I think my behaviour is “unacceptable” (as I often believe it is when I’m panicking). I know it’s all in my mind, but my mind can be a pretty dark and scary place when it gets going.

Alternate suggestion: Say, “I understand you’re upset. It is okay. You have a right to be upset and I am here to help.”


2. Say, “Calm down.”
This reminds me of a MadTV sketch where Bob Newhart plays a therapist who tells his patients to simply “Stop it!” whenever they express anxiety or fear. As a sketch, it’s funny. In real life, it’s one of the worst things you can do to someone having a panic attack. When someone tells me to “stop panicking” or to “calm down,” I just think, “Oh, okay. I haven’t tried that one. Hold on, let me get out a pen and paper and jot that down, you jerk.

Instead of taking action so that they do relax, simply telling a panicking person to “calm down” or “stop it” does nothing. No-thing.

Alternate suggestion: The best thing to do is to listen and support. In order to calm them down without the generalities, counting helps.


3. Say, “I’m just going to leave you alone for a minute.”
Being left alone while panicking makes my heart race even harder. The last thing I want is to be left by myself with my troubled brain. Many of my panic attacks spark from over-thinking and it’s helpful to have another person with me, not only for medical reasons (in case I pass out or need water) but also it’s helpful to have another person around to force me to think about something other than the noise in my head.

Alternate suggestion: It sometimes helps me if the person I’m with distracts me by telling me a story or sings to me. I need to get out of my own head and think about something other than my own panic.


4. Say, “You’re overreacting.”
Here’s the thing: I’m not. Panic attacks might be in my head, but I’m in actual physical pain. If you’d cut open your leg, no one would be telling you you’re overreacting. It’s a common trope in mental health to diminish the feelings or experience of someone suffering from anxiety or panic because there’s no visible physical ailment and because there’s no discernible reason for the person to be having such a strong fear reaction.

The worst thing you can tell someone who is panicking is that they are overreacting.

Alternate suggestion: Treat a panic attack like any other medical emergency. Listen to what the person is telling you. Get them water if they need it. It helps me if someone rubs my back a little. If you’re in over your head, don’t hesitate to call 911 (or whatever the emergency services number is where you are). But please, take the person seriously. Mental health deserves the same respect as physical health.


CREDIT [X]  [X]

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Posted at 11:54am
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underwater-carpentry:

fuckyeah-nerdery:

spankzilla85:

gamerverse:

ctrayn:

I wish Batman was depicted like this more often.  Many of his villains are mentally ill and victims of tragic circumstances, it would be nice to see him try to help them as much as he helps the people they put in danger because of their problems.

I tear up every time I watch this show.  “I had a bad day too, once.” 

Best version of Batman. Best version of Harley.

I prefer Batman when he wasn’t a ultra-paranoid nutjob.

This this one thousand times this! What I freaking hate is that that crazy, joyless version of Batman is considered the “default” or even “better” version because of stuff like shitty writers (oh hi there Frank Miller) and the Nolanverse movies, which in themselves are a deconstruction of that version of Batman. Nolanverse Batman is unsustainable. Nolanverse Batman is completely without a lot of his support network for the majority of the trilogy. Nolanverse Batman pushes people away and ends up having to stop being a superhero in order to reclaim his humanity. That is practically skywriting saying “comics Batman is obviously different to this, this is an interesting AU.” I truly love the Nolanverse movies, I think they’re brilliant, but god do I hate it when they’re misinterpreted into comics canon. Also, Nolanverse Batman isn’t full-on crazy joyless Batman either; he quips, he teases people, he fucking smiles.

Bruce Wayne’s Batman is one of, quite possibly foremost of, my favourite superheroes, but not for any of the reasons that seem to be glorified about him in those psychotic versions. Yes, he gets obsessive. Yes, he is an utter control freak. And those are his flaws, not his strengths.

You wanna talk to me about Batman’s strengths? Talk to me about the fact that he’s the adopted single father of five kids (yes I’m counting Damian because the way he was brought into the family is analogous to adoption).

Talk to me about the fact half of his information networks are made up of ex-cons he’s rehabilitated into education programs where they flourish, and the other half are Arkham inmates who he acknowledges as the leaders in their field. Talk to me about the fact that most of the time, they’re willing to give him the information he needs.

Talk to me about the fact that he became a superhero out of the self-awareness that the trauma of losing his parents so mentally scarred him that he knows he can never be well-adjusted, but he wants to use his warped perspective to do some good so no child will ever have to endure what he did again.

Talk to me about the fact that he became a governor on the board of Arkham Asylum not to persecute but to protect the inmates, because even though they perpetrate utterly abhorrent acts they are still people with rights and even the capability to one day reform.

Talk to me about how many times he’s paid for Harvey’s surgery, and the fact that Harvey still refers to Bruce as his one friend who’s always stood by him.

Talk to me about him sponsoring Harley’s parole and laughing as she backflipped with joy.

Talk to me about the fact that, because he knows he can get stupidly stubborn and out-of-control, he surrounds himself with people who refuse to take his crap (Alfred, Babs, Selina, Dick, Jim, Leslie, etc) because he knows sometimes he needs to be stopped.

The real Batman is not some psychotic sadist who hates people and never smiles.

The real Batman is a grumpy socially awkward dad with badass friends, plenty of issues but also a moral compass, a strong belief in human rights and the ability to reform… with a soft spot for people as maladjusted as him.

Except no substitutes.

(Source: xlingeringsentimentx)

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Posted at 10:43am
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